Alright, first things first. Why have I decided to do this? Pretty much, my life revolves around theatre. Like, seriously, that is ALL THAT I DO. Which is NOT a bad thing. No matter what anyone says. I believe that with each show I do, no matter what I am doing in the show, I learn something about myself. Even if it is the most miniscule thing in the entire world, it's something. And honestly, right about now, that is really all I really want to do. Discover who I really am. Know myself inside and out, like, for real, you know? Is that odd? Thinking that I don't know who I really am. But here's the thing. In order to discover who I really am, and in order to be the best actress I can be, I have actually got to live my life, like, in the real world, and for maybe the first time in my life, experience real life. So I'm pretty much gonna talk about my life, and my reflections on the characters I'm playing and the shows that I'm in mostly. I think I'm just doing this because I gotta let it out to people somehow, but putting it on here doesn't make it feel like I am, so yeah. Sorry if that doesn't makes absolutly no sense!!! Oh, and before I go on, if anyone ever does read this blog, pretend like you don't. Cause I'm gonna say stuff I don't like to talk about, but that I still want people to have in the back of their minds about me. So just, don't talk to me about it. Unless it's good stuff!So, here it goes.
I have been in many a show in the past four years of my life. But I can honestly say, that I have never had to pinch myself so many times before to make myself realize that I really am in this show. I really am singing some of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. I really am surrounded by some of the most amazing and talented poeple I have ever met in my entire life. Songs for a New World is not just a musical, it's an experience. When I put on my audition form that I wanted to be in the ensemble, I hadn't even heard the music. All I heard was that it was amazing. And I knew I wanted to be in it. Emiley and I found out together. It was great! All season long, I've been looking foward to this show! Even during Zombie and Grease, I was like, omigosh, I just wanna do Songs! And finally it's here! But now it's going by WAY too fast for my liking! In four days, Songs and the first season of FIRE that I have been blessed to be in. And I know it is going to be really, really sad. For one, it will possibly be my last show with some very important people in my life. Mike, Charlie, Emiley... it kills me especially to think of that, so I won't. All I know is that I have to make the absolute most of every moment. Not to be cheesy, but the one moment that the show keeps talking about. When we finally started rehearsals a few weeks ago, not gonna lie, I was SO freaking intimidated! I mean, I had been in a show with all of these people at least once before (with the exception of Travis), but it just all of a sudden hit me how talented each and everyone of them were! But, after that terrifying rehearsal, I just went at it like there was no tomorrow! Just, every rehearsal, the few that there were, were just so so sooo amazing! But then I realized that it really did have to do with the characters and the stories that they were trying to get the audience to get. So, I went home and took out my script and just read the lyrics that I have to sing. Now, a few days before that, I started what turned out to be the worst two weeks of my junior year because I couldn't audition for colleges in Nebraska this year because I'm a moron who doesn't apply myself, and my gpa was to low. So, this whole time I had been freaking out about what I was gonna do about college, and where I want to go and all of that crap, and it was stressing me out SO MUCH! I couldn't even stand it! School was literally a living hell, and my only saving grace was Songs rehearsal, because at FIRE everything just, well, goes away you know? Anyways, I sit down with my words, and for really the first time, I like, got my first transition. "A new world, calls me in the darkness. A new world, just beyond the walls. A new world waits, but I'm not ready. Still it calls... still it calls." And it all of a sudden becomes apparent to me that that is what my character is having to face. She's having to face exactly what I am gonna face within the next year. Leaving home, and going to college. Not knowing what to face, and not being ready AT ALL. And then I just broke down, because God was sending me this big flashing sign finally that he has had planned for me since last June. That is why I love this show so much. Because no matter what someone is going through in their life, there is at least one character that someone can relate to. It is a show that will change at least one persons life without a doubt, just like Sleeman says it will. I just wish that everyone I know would come and see it, but everyone is so closed minded when it comes to musicals. But, I just thank God each and everyday for this show, cause it really is the only thing that is "getting me through till tomorrow."(I'm so cheesy!) But, seriously, it is. I wish that it would go on for ever. But, all good things must come to an end.
Tonight is our dress rehearsal. And I know that we are just so close to really nailing it. I just cannot wait for this experience. If only it didn't go by so fast.
